Do you have a problem that needs solved? Each week you can anonymously Ask Blurst for help with your worries and we will do our best to help you out!
Thanks to Jim Johnstone for offering his advice this week.
If you have a question you would like answered on Ask Blurst, please visit our Formspring. You can leave questions anonymously, but please leave a name - even if it's not your own!
Dear Blurst Times, My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now and I recently found out that he cheated on me in the first year we were dating. I love him, but I can't get over the fact that he betrayed me. What should I do? - Maria
Jim: The question is: can you still trust him? It’s easy to say “I forgive you”, but a lack of trust can eat away at a relationship unless you deal with this problem as soon as possible. I’ve seen people close to me cheat and the two main reasons are either because the relationship has gone stale, or the cheater has issues with trust.
Have you asked him why he did it? It won’t be pretty having to sit and hear him describe how and why it happened, but you can’t move on if you never know why he did it.
Has he done anything to make you suspicious over the past three years? Everyone is capable of making mistakes in a relationship, and it would be wrong to throw away three years with someone over what could have been a moment of weakness. But if he's been secretive about his phone/ computer, or engaging in more than just harmless flirting, then the chances are he's still at it.
Dear Blurst, My friend is always late to everything - even when they've organised meeting up! Sometimes they are late by over an hour! I've had enough, what can I do? - Dominic
Jim: Dominic, are you one of my mates using a pseudonym? I’m always late for everything, even if I’m working at five and have all day free!
Some people are useless at stuff like this, so don't start ripping their ego to shreds over their absent-mindedness. What my friend used to do to me was ask me to turn up earlier for stuff, i.e. say “come round at 3.30”, then get ready for four (or later!).
Take the mickey out of them for it at first and hope that they get the point and start being punctual.
Failing that, try getting them a massive, Flava Flav-style watch necklace.
Dear Blurst. On nights when I have uni the next morning, my flatmate will come in and make a lot of noise at three or four in the morning. I've asked them to keep the noise down, but they still do it. What can I do? - Jess
Jim: Jess, this may not come across the right way but, have you tried earplugs? I’ve used those earphones that go right in your ears when I’m sleeping in the same room as heavy snorers. And trust me, they work even against guys who make noises like Darth Vader guesting on a Pig Destroyer song.
Another alternative is to just make noise back. When you get up for uni early in the morning, they’ll be sleeping- and nursing the start of a hangover. Silly them! Just clatter the cupboards about and put the telly on loud, and when they complain just say that you’re always this loud when you get up early for uni.
And if worst comes to worst, get drunk and come home later than them and noise them up all night by knocking on the their door and phoning them so they can hear what awesome song has come on that they just have to hear. Should do the trick.
Dear The Blurst Times, I'm having a problem with my new boyfriend. We've been going out for 3 months now, and he's a great guy. He's sweet, funny and good with my kids. The problem is that he can't perform sexually. He won't open up to me about why, and I'm beginning to worry. - Catherine
Jim: Sometimes it takes time for people in a relationship to get to know properly what the other person likes in the bedroom. Maybe he's just a bit shy? Talk to him and get him to open up, and find out what he likes, and tell him what you're in to.
You never know, with a bit of work he might just be able to fill the one box thats missing on your checklist.
Thanks to Jim Johnstone for offering his advice this week.
If you have a question you would like answered on Ask Blurst, please visit our Formspring. You can leave questions anonymously, but please leave a name - even if it's not your own!
Dear Blurst Times, My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now and I recently found out that he cheated on me in the first year we were dating. I love him, but I can't get over the fact that he betrayed me. What should I do? - Maria
Jim: The question is: can you still trust him? It’s easy to say “I forgive you”, but a lack of trust can eat away at a relationship unless you deal with this problem as soon as possible. I’ve seen people close to me cheat and the two main reasons are either because the relationship has gone stale, or the cheater has issues with trust.
Have you asked him why he did it? It won’t be pretty having to sit and hear him describe how and why it happened, but you can’t move on if you never know why he did it.
Has he done anything to make you suspicious over the past three years? Everyone is capable of making mistakes in a relationship, and it would be wrong to throw away three years with someone over what could have been a moment of weakness. But if he's been secretive about his phone/ computer, or engaging in more than just harmless flirting, then the chances are he's still at it.
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Dear Blurst, My friend is always late to everything - even when they've organised meeting up! Sometimes they are late by over an hour! I've had enough, what can I do? - Dominic
Jim: Dominic, are you one of my mates using a pseudonym? I’m always late for everything, even if I’m working at five and have all day free!
Some people are useless at stuff like this, so don't start ripping their ego to shreds over their absent-mindedness. What my friend used to do to me was ask me to turn up earlier for stuff, i.e. say “come round at 3.30”, then get ready for four (or later!).
Take the mickey out of them for it at first and hope that they get the point and start being punctual.
Failing that, try getting them a massive, Flava Flav-style watch necklace.
---
Dear Blurst. On nights when I have uni the next morning, my flatmate will come in and make a lot of noise at three or four in the morning. I've asked them to keep the noise down, but they still do it. What can I do? - Jess
Jim: Jess, this may not come across the right way but, have you tried earplugs? I’ve used those earphones that go right in your ears when I’m sleeping in the same room as heavy snorers. And trust me, they work even against guys who make noises like Darth Vader guesting on a Pig Destroyer song.
Another alternative is to just make noise back. When you get up for uni early in the morning, they’ll be sleeping- and nursing the start of a hangover. Silly them! Just clatter the cupboards about and put the telly on loud, and when they complain just say that you’re always this loud when you get up early for uni.
And if worst comes to worst, get drunk and come home later than them and noise them up all night by knocking on the their door and phoning them so they can hear what awesome song has come on that they just have to hear. Should do the trick.
---
Dear The Blurst Times, I'm having a problem with my new boyfriend. We've been going out for 3 months now, and he's a great guy. He's sweet, funny and good with my kids. The problem is that he can't perform sexually. He won't open up to me about why, and I'm beginning to worry. - Catherine
Jim: Sometimes it takes time for people in a relationship to get to know properly what the other person likes in the bedroom. Maybe he's just a bit shy? Talk to him and get him to open up, and find out what he likes, and tell him what you're in to.
You never know, with a bit of work he might just be able to fill the one box thats missing on your checklist.